The Fearful Me

Though past has passed

Vividly I can foresee future well

Not everything lasts

But mine remains bitterly still

Afraid to show

Meanwhile to let go as well

Release what I know

Or capture what soon I will

Fear is my company

Unalterable even if there is the will

Once I get over it

The other day comes frighten to refill

Will it ever die?

Making way for some sort of thrill

Or must go I

For so long through this hell

Sick of such suppression

And repression that merely kill

Only silence speaks

Muting the sound of any voiced chill

Why surrender my soul

To those cruel thoughts to buy and sell

Yet there is hope to explore

And numerous stars to catch after they fell

No longer, no more

Shall I keep hiding me from me in that shell?

Will face my fears maybe shed some tears

But all to undo such a dreadful spell

Only pave the way then come what may

God's will is for no one to tell

Beyond redemption

Beyond Redemption

A life form,

well deformed,

nothing but a pathetic excuse for living,

with no sense of giving,

Feel nothing but remorse, sorrow, & grief,

towards this parasite that has grown nothing but welted leaves,

I have screamed my heart out but noone to listen,

as if am recruited for this unworthy to be dignified mission;

but I catch my breath for a moment there,

wandering what If I have nothing left for her to spare;

would she be lost and never to repent

but one thing I know, that am no godsent

I long for she could understand how I feel

anguish, and immense pain would be poor to appeal,

is she beyond redemption, I guess she is only looking for attention!

Vividly Irresistable